


Reminder

by Evitcani



Series: After the Bow [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Bittersweet, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 15:10:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11359989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evitcani/pseuds/Evitcani
Summary: It was Julia’s hair he had loved first. As much a rebellion and soft, messy comfort as she had been. He feared that was the only reason he let these moments with Kravitz happen. If he reached for it, it’d be far too easy to imagine Julia in his arms, her face hidden by the mass of curls like Kravitz’s was then with his braid falling apart.Magnus built his life around her. Nothing in a hundred worlds scared him like forgetting.No series context needed forAfter the Bow.





	Reminder

Magnus’s fingers stopped in the place where there was once a scar. He knew it had been there, burned by inexperience and distraction. Hot white pain from the knife, but worth it to watch Julia laugh. He remembered it so clearly. 

It wasn’t there. 

Even his body had forgotten Raven’s Roost. As he had forgotten the place of every freckle on her arm and the exact curve of her ear and the way she had braided her hair on their wedding day. At the time, he had thought the sun shone so it would have a chance to glimpse her. Now, he could hardly remember her dress but for where he'd found it ruined in a tree. The only thing of theirs that had survived beyond the scars and inflections that had shaped his body in Raven's Roost. He had never cried harder in his life than the moment he realized he couldn’t reach it in spite of all the missing bark on the tree that showed he’d tried. When he'd gotten back with an axe the tree was bare of wedding dresses. 

It wasn’t there. 

Magnus clasped his hands together so tightly it hurt. He didn’t know how long he lay there, trying to remember how she braided her hair. The birds outside had woken before he had a wink of sleep. He closed his eyes as the door and floorboards creaked. A hand cupping his cheek, lips pressing against his jaw, a sweet whisper in his ear, “Magnus.”

Magnus rolled over and caught Kravitz in his arms, freezing when his eyes settled on Kravitz’s hair. He touched it reverently as Kravitz curled against his broad chest, always a sucker for warmth. Julia wasn’t something he could ever dream of replacing. The notion that he might made his heart ache as much as his fingers had started to. He traced his hand along the braid wondering what sixth sense Kravitz had for when Magnus needed these moments. 

It was Julia’s hair he had loved first. As much a rebellion and soft, messy comfort as she had been. He feared that was the only reason he let these moments with Kravitz happen. If he reached for it, it’d be far too easy to imagine Julia in his arms, her face hidden by the mass of curls like Kravitz’s was then with his braid falling apart. He pushed a few strands back, making Kravitz turn and lean up to kiss his jaw. “Taako will burn our breakfast if he starts to think we’re up here having sex without him,” he murmured against Magnus's collarbone. 

No, he reminded himself, Kravitz could never replace what he had lost. Especially not when the man made himself impossible to ignore, hands roaming Magnus's skin curiously. He brushed his fingertips over a scar on Magnus’s arm. “What's this from?”

Magnus blinked down at it and then slapped himself on the forehead. He’d been looking at the wrong arm. Kravitz shifted against his chest, alarmed. “That’s uh -,” Magnus laughed, feeling pin pricks at his eyes. “When I was sorta learning carpentry. First time I heard Julia laugh. Cut myself like an idiot.”

”You _are_ an idiot,” Kravitz snorted, tracing it slowly. 

Magnus grinned and ruffled Kravitz’s hair. “You love it,” he announced gleefully. 

”Loving you is not the same as loving your most terrible qualities, Magnus,” Kravitz demurred, trying to escape the bed. 

Magnus let him go, hand finding Kravitz’s and bringing it to his mouth. He kissed the palm of Kravitz’s hand, then the inside of his wrist. Above him, Kravitz’s breath hitched. Magnus didn’t look up, closing his eyes against the flicker of genuine affection that little noise had stirred. The mattress dipped and Magnus felt fingers at his temple, tucking his too-long hair behind his ears. 

“Are you okay?”

Magnus opened his eyes with a big grin, reaching up to bop Kravitz on the nose and turn the wrinkles of concern into annoyance. “I just woke up, dude. Give a guy a minute to soak up some sunlight before he starts tossing it around,” he cheered, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and stretching. 

“My sincerest apologies for looking after your well-being,” Kravitz huffed, smiling and standing up. He lingered in the doorway, hand trailing up from the knob. Magnus bit back a laugh when he noticed errant curls brushing against both the door and its frame. Kravitz glanced back at him, expression having settled into something more somber. “I’m sorry for what I said before, about loving you. That wasn’t fair to you,” he said softly. 

Magnus blinked in surprise. He felt his heart clench and embarrassment rush to his face. This wasn’t what he wanted. “It’s fine, Krav, you’re not -. You didn’t do anything _wrong_. I didn’t even notice, really, what you said, it’s, uhm, really obvious,” he laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. 

Kravitz stiffened where he stood, head snapping forward and ears pinning back. “Oh,” he said quietly. “So it is.” 

Magnus covered his mouth, but his giggling bubbled past his fingers. “You gonna be alright there, buddy?” 

Kravitz’s ears twitched against his head. “ _Absolutely_ ,” he muttered, hand gripping the doorway briefly. It fluttered against the grain before he twisted back around to Magnus and opened his mouth like he was going to argue. He closed it, puffed out his cheeks, then started up again, “It’s not -.” Kravitz shook his finger in Magnus’s general direction, making him laugh harder. “I am _not_ a hopeless romantic,” he pressed firmly. 

Magnus bit the palm of his hand to muffle his giggles, nodding quickly. Kravitz nodded back stiffly and marched out of the room. Magnus burst into laughter when he left, wiping at his face. The giggles gave way to tears. He rocked forward, cupping his face in his hands and smiling against the fondness swelling in his chest. Swiping at his eyes and giggling between sniffles, Magnus opened the curtains. His hands settled on top of his dresser, eyes tracing the grain. Tears splattered against the wood and magnified the pattern where the sunshine did not catch them. There was no replacing Julia and he didn't know if he could ever bring himself to love Kravitz the way the man freely loved him.

_But_ , he thought, Kravitz was not a replacement. Kravitz was Magnus’s reminder that he’d loved Julia because she had made him happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to comfort myself after episode 66. 
> 
> Feel free to follow my [Tumblr](https://evitcani-writes.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Evit_cani).


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